Saturday, 6 November 2010

AN AWFUL DAY (GROUP ASSIGNMENT)

He swears angrily the light of the sun coming from the window that he left opened unconsciously last night. Whatever he does, the brightness of the sunlight affects him and forces to wake up out of large and also wide bed that smells the perspiration of his body but the time is very early. He catches a glimpse of room from the little space of his eyes. The room is nearly empty and silent deadly. However, there are some little bottle of alcohol whose taste are awful and burned cigarettes around the bed. The room is also covered with the heavy atmosphere even if there is fresh air coming from the opened window. In every step of room, it smells beverage, the food left over from last night and the socks under the bed…
He stands and starts to walk to kitchen to make a coffee which makes him feel better. While he is walking, he stops in front of the mirror looking his face and remembers her . Suddenly, he feels upset thinking how much he misses her. He wants to only her repeating her name silently like a prayer. Turning the room, he comes to kitchen and prepares the coffee unwillingly as always. He thinks again it is very early and gets angry about his unendurable headache due to so much drinking alcohol. Besides coffee, he takes an aspirin thinking that it will reduce his ache and decides to go bed for a short sleep after swallowing the pill with coffee that he made few seconds ago.
He lies down the bed, his only friend, and thinks he green eyes like a leave. His heart is hurting and he wants to cry loudly but he knows “ in vain.” Saying to himself “Now, she is somewhere maybe near another man, maybe a bed with another love” but goes on imaginating her repeatedly and desperately. In the darkness of the night, he wants to smell her wonderful hair that takes him to the beache but suddenly everyhing starts to shake. The Picture on the wall falls down and the others… There is an unbelievable noise and finally the darkness…
At this time, there is a woman with green eyes like a leave, sleeps with the photo taken with a man in a beach .However, they will never wake up out of bed and they will never know what she or he is doing at that time or whether they are thinking each other or not.The mystery will remain its silence forever…

5 comments:

  1. You have really good descriptions like in the text we have read.Maybe you could describe the earthquake more precisely.

    mark:23

    commented by Cansel ISLEK,Gizem HATIPOGLU,Bengi GÜNGÖR

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi, our grade is 90.
    Creavity=25
    Language=20
    Details are good.The more we read the more we want to read it but because of the some grammatical mistakes we should reduce your language remarks like;
    ''He wants to only her repeating her name silently like a prayer.''

    ''He thinks again it is very early and gets angry about his unendurable headache due to so much drinking alcohol.''

    ''...due to so much drinking alcohol.''
    Cohesion/Coherence=20

    Overall impression=25
    Your writing and also your feeling is fully passes us.Thanks for your group.

    ReplyDelete
  3. you used adjectives effectively.you concantrated on your essay so you wrote nice essay.
    MARK:20
    Fatma Karaca
    Büşra Çalışkan
    Merve Atak
    Okan Çelik
    Sümeyye Nur Çelik

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi! our grade is 90.
    Creativity =25
    Language=20
    Your details are so good that we read it eagerly.
    Cohesion/Coherence=20
    Overall impression=25
    Your writing is really good and impressively. Thanks for your writing.
    Well done!

    EVRİM ERTAY
    SEBAHATTİN ERGÜN
    AYŞEN ERASLAN
    SEDA DURUYOL
    EVRİM ERTAY
    SEBAHATTİN ERGÜN

    ReplyDelete

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